Rules for "24" characters

Well the season premiere of my favorite show "24" kicked of with a bang the last 2 nights. You had Jack Bauer going vampire on the terrorists and the typical "Jack doesn't know what he's doing, listen to me instead" from those in power in the government.

Here are my set of rules that all "24" characters should follow in order to safeguard the USA from terrorists:

1. Jack Bauer is always right
2. Never argue with Jack Bauer (see rule 1)
3. If you want to save the country, follow Jack Bauer's instructions immediately (see 1 and 2)
4. Never ever, under any circumstances, arrest Jack Bauer. Never. EVER!
5. If you think Jack Bauer is dead and want to cry, don't. He's alive and is still always right (see 1).

And now one for the terrorists:

• No matter how injured/captured/dead you think Jack Bauer is, never ever tell him your plans or what's really going on. If you do, he will get mad/inspired and kill your men and escape. (see good guy rule 5. This actually goes for any bad guy in any story when they capture the good guy, but it is especially true for Jack Bauer.)
  

And one in the spirit of all the Chuck Norris/Jack Bauer stuff flying around teh interwebz about how powerful they are:

• Jack Bauer has the ability to look directly at a nuclear explosion without going blind. Jack Bauer's eyes burn the nuclear explosion.

Next week is soooo far away and there's only 1 hour of 24. /cry